Hope – A curse in disguise

10 12 2008

It would be incorrect if I say I don’t believe in HOPE rather I usually don’t hope for anything and to be honest I don’t know why. One potential reason could be that I am scared to face disappointments. Be it exam scores, promotions, salary hike, birthday gifts or surprise parties I never look forward to it like the majority of the world does.tombstone-clipart

Said all these, there was this period in my life when I actually hoped for something to happen and kept dreaming about it all the time. A couple of months back I realized that its not going to happen which tore me apartย  but still there was this .1% of hope left unflushed. What I observed in the recent days is, that small amount ofย  hope never clears out though it appears as if it is diminishing which is not quiet true. But as the days pass by, I have to draw a line to it but I couldn’t. The hope has started haunting me. All the good dreams I had now seems like nightmares. Maybe its time to give up and surrender but not sure how.

I regret that I hoped and I am prepared to live with it for the rest of my life! The dream of pursuing a masters degree in computer science will rest in peace within me!


The Journey

21 09 2008

If I am not wrong it was in 1992 when I first saw a computer. My uncle bought it to manage his business(by just using Tally I guess). It was running Windows 3.1x and had a 5-1/4″ Floppy drive. I dont remember the rest of the configuration. He secured the system with a bios level password, so I dont get to play in it without his presence. PAC MAN was the first game which I played. Then moved to Dangerous Dave and Prince of Persia.

Later in 1995 he replaced the old pc with a better one which was running Windows 95. I couldnt sleep for whole week and just wanted to look at the START menu poping up.

In 1998 when I was in my 8th class my parents bought a pc for my brother who was in college. It was an Intel pentium machine with 2GB HDD(now I have a 16GB pen drive!), 64MB RAM, a CD-ROM and was running Windows 98SE(The best Windows OS so far IMHO!). Duke Nukem 3D was my fav game and I have completed it more than 50 times(Yes, I was insane!). Whenever I tried installing a Jedi game the computer would go mute and the volume controlled disappears from the taskbar resulting in a World War with my brother. And we used to carry the CPU to the person who assembled the system to get it fixed. Only after a few years I came to know that it was only the sound drive which gets uninstalled ๐Ÿ˜€ . Entering cheatcodes in Cricket 97 game was like hacking to me and made me feel like a geek.

In 2000, I finally got rid of the old pc and got a AMD powered machine which was ultra fast. This was the year when I also got an opportunity to work on iMac G3 which my other uncle had in his office. I just hate it because I dint find the Start button and only very few games were available on it.

In 2002, I myself assembled a system which is still there in my home but hardly works. I also got a CD BURNER using which I could burn my own CDs which was really cool ๐Ÿ˜‰ I also upgrated to Windows XP just for the sake of making my friends feel jealous.

In 2006, my brother bought me a HP Pavillion Laptop from US. It has a sexy 17″ glossy display with a full size keyboard. I was powered by a AMD 64bit processor and was running a genuine copy of Windows XP ๐Ÿ˜‰ It was my best buddy till May 2008.

I was bored upgrading the hardware and Windows OS for the past 8 years. So thought of making a big move to Apple’s Mac ๐Ÿ™‚ Though I have worked on an iMac for 2-3 hours I really had no clue about the OS and the Hardware. After a lot of research on net and seeing some videos on Youtube(Esp the Keynotes by Steve Jobs) I made my mind. I gave the HP laptop to my dad and bought myself a Macbook with 2.4Ghz intel core 2 duo processor, 250GB HDD, 2GB RAM, 13.3″ widescreen display and best of all Leopard OS X 10.5.

Its really unbelievable looking at the technologies growth. Hope after 10 years the Macbook that I own now would be like my uncle’s first computer which had a 5-1/4″ Floppy drive!